Alyssa
I’d messed up this time, and I mean messed up. I’d ruined everything, which wasn’t a new feeling for me, but this time I’d hurt Seely in the process.
He was done with me. I saw it in his eyes. And my heart was hurting so bad, I could physically feel the fissures running through it.
And I deserved this. All of this. It was all my fault.
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t all my fault that I was turned into this thing in the first place. The details of that are still fuzzy. But it was my fault that I’d bled Seely dry and then proceeded to turn into the creature he’d been trained to hate and kill.
And yet… I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. Not really.
As I walked beside Seely, following Dexter through the thick forest, I could only feel grateful that he was alive. I hated that he was upset, and I hated that I’d taken that choice away from him, but… I didn’t hate that he still existed.
Did that make me a bad person? Probably, but it was true.
“Um, are you sure we can trust them?” I whispered the question to Seely as we walked silently, a couple of steps behind where Dexter, and now Simon, led the way. I looked at Seely’s profile while part of my mind focused on not tripping and falling in the thick brush, but he didn’t act as if he’d heard me. His jaw was set tightly, and he had his eyes focused on the back of Dexter’s head.
I pursed my lips and turned my face forward again. Seely was an Undead now, and so I knew he’d heard me. I knew he could probably hear my heartbeat and the quickening of my breath as I tried not to think about how much he must hate me.
Dexter had found us in the middle of our fight. Well, I guess it was really the end. Of everything.
Anyway, he’d walked up to us, told us we looked like hell, and that he and Simon were looking for us to take us back to base safely before Mr. Evanson could find us.
Giving up on Seely speaking to me, I asked Dexter instead.
“So, how do we know we can trust you? How do we know you’re not just leading us to our death?”
“I guess you don’t know that, Alyssa,” Dexter replied. His voice was low. “But you don’t have any other choice than to trust us.”
He was right. What choice did we have but to follow them? The cabin was no longer safe and staying in the woods and yelling at each other didn’t seem like the best decision. So, Seely and I were stuck stomping after people who we thought were still our friends.
It would be icing on the cake, though, if they stabbed us in the back. I didn’t think I would even be surprised.
I looked from the back of Dexter’s head and over to Simon. I could see his profile, illuminated in the moonlight, and it was enough for me to see that his eyes were wider than saucers on his face. He was clutching his gun to his chest so tightly, I thought it might collapse in on itself. I could see his jaw was tensed, the muscle at the base of it twitching slightly as his eyes darted from side to side.
He looked nervous, and there was plenty of reason to be, out here in these woods. I just hoped he was nervous about getting caught and not about having to murder us later.
“Um, Dexter?” I started. I wanted him to explain everything to me. How were they here? How had they known where to find us? Why weren’t we caught by anyone else in the woods? But before I could get even one question out, Dexter whirled around to face me. Surprised, I stepped back slightly. My hand moved to my thigh, but I remembered my dagger wasn’t there. Seely had thrown it at his father back at the cabin.
He didn’t miss my movement, and I saw his eyes dart down to look at my hand. I didn’t take my eyes off his face. Dexter pursed his lips slightly and then held one hand up. His other held a small gun, but as I’d been shot in the head and survived it, I wasn’t too worried about any damage he could do with it.
“Yes, Alyssa?” He asked his voice low. I ignored the slightly condescending tone I thought I detected, and I lowered mine to match his.
“You’re taking us back to the AAUD… right?” He pulled his eyebrows together at my words, looking confused. “I mean, I’m not trying to say you would or anything, but I just want to make sure that you’re… not taking us somewhere to kill us? Or turn us over to Mr. Evanson?” I watched his face carefully. I didn’t want to accuse him of anything, but I also didn’t want to be led to both Seely and my imminent demise. That would pretty much suck.
Dexter just looked at me for a second. His brows were still furrowed like his face was stuck in that position. Slowly, he shook his head from left to right, just a little. His features melted from their stony, stuck expression to something that resembled sympathy, I thought.
“I wouldn’t betray Seely. Or you, for that matter.” He moved his hand as if to run it through his hair, but it was cut close to his scalp. I wondered if maybe the buzz cut was something new for him. He smoothed his hand over the layer anyway, and I watched him let out a puff of breath. He looked from me and over to Seely for just a moment before bringing his attention back to me. Dexter stepped forward one step, slowly, and this time I didn’t back up. “You were my friend too, Alyssa. Before everything happened. And Seely is more like a brother. Of course, I would help you both, with anything. Even something as big as this.”
I looked into Dexter’s eyes and studied the emotion there. I thought I saw some pain and maybe even some exasperation at my questions, but most importantly I saw the air of truth. Dexter wasn’t lying to me, and I knew that deep in my gut. And Seely had mentioned stories of us and Dexter, albeit training together. If Seely and I were truly as close as he’d told me we were before, and if he and Dexter were as close as I was being informed currently, then it would only make sense that Dexter and I were friends in another life. My other life.
I thought all of this through while Dexter stared at me. Simon was still glancing nervously around, but this time his eyes were landing briefly on each of our faces as we stood there. Seely was still eerily silent, but I could also feel his gaze on my face. I wondered briefly if being super aware of my surroundings was an Undead thing.
So many thoughts were racing through my brain, but in reality, I only stood there silently for a few seconds. Finally, I nodded. I didn’t know what to say, and, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could trust my voice.
I was scared.
I was scared for myself, of course, but I’d been scared for myself ever since I found out about the AAUD and what I was. Now, the difference was that I was also scared for Seely. Actually, I was terrified for him. I’d done this, I’d turned him into an Undead, and now he had to face the consequences.
We began walking again, and still, no one spoke. I wondered if Dexter and Simon knew what had happened to Seely; if they knew what he was.
I shook my head, trying to focus on my footsteps.
If I was being honest, I didn’t even know what he was.
I had a good guess, of course. I mean, I’d killed him. I drank all his blood and then I buried him in the ground trying to bring him back exactly as he was: alive. Well, kind of.
He was alive enough.
But I couldn’t help but wonder at his reaction.
I was also Undead, and Seely knew that. Yet, he claimed that that little fact didn’t change anything about the way he felt about me. When he woke up after being turned into an Undead himself, that fact seemed to be the only thing that mattered.
I mentally slapped myself at the thought. You’re being unfair.
And I was.
I didn’t remember waking up as an Undead. I didn’t remember my life before or what exactly felt different now. I didn’t remember being raised to hate and kill the very thing I’d become… but Seely remembered all of it.
The air left my lungs in a whoosh, and my footsteps stumbled slightly.
What did I do?
“Gold?”
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up into green eyes. This was the first time Seely had looked at me since he found out what I did, and it was with concern. I don’t know what my face looked like, but the ache I was feeling inside must have shown completely for him to break his silence.
But, now was not the time to break down. Not when we were marching through the woods with people who could kill us at any moment, heading back to the lion’s den. I’d been selfish enough. I needed to keep it together.
“Um, nothing.” I shook my head and pushed Seely’s hand from my shoulder. “I just tripped.”
Brushing past him, I could see the confusion in his eyes. He wasn’t buying it. Luckily he was still angry with me and didn’t seem to want to push the conversation any further. I guess you could call it lucky, even though the coldness between us was causing an ache in my chest that was becoming too intense to ignore.
I did this. I needed to fix it. And it wasn’t Seely’s fault that I’d done this to him, so I wasn’t going to make a scene in front of him.
There had to be something I could do.
“Pick up the pace,” Dexter called from the front of the pack.
Comment: Come back to this later. I need to bridge the gap between this chapter and the next one. How do they get where they’re going? I need to re-introduce Seth and Stella as allies.
Коментарі